Earth Mom and Space Dad
by Irhaboggles
Summary: There's never a dull moment when you're the parent of four queer daughters who love to goof around and sometimes seem to forget how to act their age. Just ask Eliza Danvers or J'onn J'onzz. They have many stories about Kara, Lena, Alex and Maggie and all the antics they get up to on a regular basis. Even mundane dinners become incredibly... interesting.


"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Ok, I think that's quite enough, girls!" Eliza finally interrupted her daughters' little squabble. It didn't matter that they were in their mid twenties. Sometimes, they acted about two decades younger. Today was a perfect example of that.

"She stole my transmitter!" Alex pointed at Kara and whined like a child.

"No, it was _my _transmitter!" Kara defended, holding a small gray device in her hand, just out of reach from Alex. Eliza pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. She loved her daughters more than anything in the universe, but they could be quite a handful at times, even as fully-grown adults.

"Ugh, tell me about it," J'onn J'onzz gave Eliza a knowing smile. The Danvers sisters had invited him over for dinner and he was helping Eliza prepare. She knew he was an alien and she knew he was a mind-reader, so she knew that his response had been to her thoughts and not anything she had said out loud. It creeped her out to some degree, but J'onn had proven himself many times over to be a very good man, so Eliza was quick to trust him and see the humor in what he had said and done.

"Is this what working with them is like?" she asked him with an amused smile.

"Worse," J'onn chuckled back. "Because then, Alex has guns and Kara is in Supergirl mode."

"Oooh, I can only imagine," Eliza gave the alien a sympathetic smile, which quickly melted into a laugh that he echoed. Although J'onn wasn't really their father, he was such a fatherly type that everyone at his workplace, the DEO, considered him their honorary Space Dad. But with that title came a lot of responsibilities. Some of those included overseeing some of the more childish fights that Kara and Alex could get into. Or even if it wasn't fighting, they could just be incredibly mischievous, which meant that there was never a dull moment in the DEO, for better or worse. J'onn honestly wished he had eyes on the back of his head sometimes, just because that would've made looking after Kara and Alex way easier.

"Hey! Give it back! You jerk!" Kara's shrill and outraged shriek interrupted Eliza and J'onn and they turned to see Alex waving the transmitter proudly, sticking her tongue out like a five-year-old as she bragged her victory.

"Alex!" Eliza sighed in dismay.

"But Mom!" Alex whined. J'onn, meanwhile, pretended to be distracted by something else to mask his laughter. He might've been a drill sergeant on the clock, but off the clock, he could laugh at his "children" and their crazy little antics.

"If that transmitter is not back in my hand in two seconds, I will melt your face off!" Kara pouted.

"Kara!" Eliza heaved another sigh.

"Sorry, Eliza," Kara replied, but she only sounded sorry for a fraction of a second before turning her glare back on her sister.

"Can't you two just help me with dinner?" their mother pleaded.

"Ok! But only if I get to set the table!" Kara was quick to race to the drawer of silverware and lay everything out in under a second.

"What? No fair!" Alex cried. "Why do I always have to help with the food prep?"

"Because I almost destroy the kitchen every time I try to make something that can't just be eaten right out of the fridge," Kara said.

"Well you could still help, you know?" Alex pouted as she made her way over to J'onn and Eliza.

"I've already done my part," Kara bragged as she gestured to the fully set table. When Alex only narrowed her eyes, Kara put on a look of mock innocence. "It's not my fault I have super speed!" she said and J'onn had to stifle another laugh while Eliza only sighed and rolled her eyes again.

25 minutes later, dinner was done and the other guests had arrived. This wasn't just a night for J'onn to visit. Lena and Maggie were coming too. Soon, the table was full. Every plate and every chair had something, or someone, in it.

"Now, let's eat!" Eliza grinned and all the others, after murmuring their gratitude, dug into the meal. It managed to go by easily for about 15 minutes. Then as the food decreased, the conversation increased, and that was when things got interesting… again.

"My girlfriend is hotter than yours," Kara leaned over and whispered to Alex.

"She is not!" Alex defended passionately. She hadn't meant to speak so loudly, but she did, and suddenly, every eye was turned on her.

"I'm not what?" Lena asked, noticing the way Alex had turned to look at her specifically.

"Nothing," Alex looked away, blushing hotly, but Lena narrowed her eyes. She was not angry, but she knew full well that Alex still didn't like her very much. She didn't want to start a fight, but she did want to know just what Alex had said about her this time…

"Oh, nothing!" Kara said loudly, the widest of smiles plastered to her face. "I was just saying that you were hotter than Maggie!"

"What? Little Danvers! I feel _betrayed_!" Maggie cried dramatically, putting a hand over her heart and affecting a horrified expression. Lena, meanwhile, looked stuck between being horrified, embarrassed and flattered at Kara's little flirting remark.

"Maggie! Don't encourage her!" Alex pleaded in embarrassedly, eyes still glued to the table.

"Well if you won't defend my honor, then _I _will defend my honor!" Maggie picked up her fork and pointed it playfully at Kara.

"Oh, you're on!" the Kryptonian replied, picking up her own fork and doing the same.

"No, Kara," Eliza gave her a warning look.

"But Maggie-!"

"Shouldn't be playing with her utensils either," Eliza turned her warning look on the young cop.

"Sorry, Mrs. Danvers," Maggie had the grace to look ashamed as she set her fork down. If J'onn was everyone's Space Dad, Eliza was definitely everyone's Earth Mom. Eliza gave her a pleasant smile in response.

"Told ya," Alex dared to say.

"Excuse me?" Maggie pretended to get offended all over again.

"Oh great, here we go again," Alex buried her face in her hand.

"So, uhhh, lovely weather we're having this evening, eh?" J'onn whispered to Eliza with a dry smile.

"Yeah. Just great," she gave a dry smile in return as she watched Alex and Maggie bicker, though there was no real venom in either of them.

"Is this what it's usually like, eating dinner with all four of your girls?" the Martian asked his hostess. Even though Lena and Maggie weren't technically Eliza's, there were plenty of jokes about it happening eventually.

"No, it's usually worse," Eliza snorted.

"Worse?" J'onn sounded genuinely surprised.

"I can't say that I've never walked in on my girls with their partners before," Eliza admitted, suddenly turning a bright red.

"Ah," J'onn suddenly looked ill.

"But it's not just that," Eliza continued, eager to change the subject. "They always manage to start up a competition about something. Who's stronger, faster, prettier, smarter or gayer. Or whatever else they can think up off to cause a bit of chaos."

"Who usually wins?" J'onn snickered.

"Well, that depends," Eliza sighed. "For strength and speed, of course Kara always wins, but Alex tries her hardest. Last time, Kara actually goaded her into wrestling her and Lena and Maggie. She beat Lena and Maggie easily, but Kara…?" Eliza paused to laugh. Kara had simply sat on Alex until Alex surrendered. It wasn't exactly fair, but it had been funny to watch.

"As for beauty, Lena usually wins those, but that's only because Kara threats to fry anyone who says otherwise," Eliza continued.

"Sounds like Kara," J'onn snickered again. He knew how protective the Kryptonian could be over her Luthor lover.

"And then for intelligence, that's always Lena," Eliza paused to smile at the Luthor. She was a sweet woman, but she was still very shy, especially around Eliza. Eliza didn't need Lena-level smarts to know that the Luthor's upbringing hadn't exactly been the world's best. It broke Eliza's heart to think about that, that someone so sweet could've been forced into a family so cruel, but that was why Eliza felt so glad that Kara had found her. That wasn't to say Eliza thought Lena needed saving, but Kara certainly had been a good influence on the lonely Luthor…

"Yeah, she's one of the smartest humans I've ever met," J'onn agreed with Eliza. Although his feelings towards the Luthor were still a bit more… ambivalent, he was starting to warm up to her. Her good deeds, mixed with Kara's unwavering faith, were starting to change his mind about her.

"And as for who's gayest? Well. That's a fight that usually ends between Maggie and Kara," Eliza smiled. "Every time they bring up that particular fight, Lena and Alex both back out fairly quickly, out of embarrassment I'd wager. But Maggie and Kara will fight quite viciously to take home the title of "Alpha Gay" or whatever it is that they're calling it these days," Eliza laughed.

"And has Maggie ever won?" J'onn looked at the cop. She was feisty, but she was only human. How could she ever beat Kara in a fight?

"Oh, they aren't physical matches," Eliza said. "It's usually who can be more out, or who knows more trivia about the LGBT community. On the one hand, Kara's fairly good with the more biological aspects of gender and sexuality. As a Kryptonian, whose entire race would generate children rather than conceive them, she has quite a unique and broad perspective on the concepts of gender and sexuality. But Maggie has been out for quite a while and she has an advantage just by having lived here her entire life."

"Ah," J'onn nodded thoughtfully. "And have they ever broken anything during these fights? I know at the DEO I've had to deal with a few broken windows before," he paused to laugh while Eliza suddenly frowned.

"What happened?" she demanded.

"Oh, nothing much," J'onn promised. "It's usually just because Kara will be flying around when she gets a text from Lena and if she isn't paying attention to where she's going…" J'onn trailed off while Eliza cringed. "But it's not a big deal," the Martian promised. "But what about here?"

"Too often," Eliza snorted, but right before she could explain, the answer presented itself when Kara accidentally shattered her plate. Lena and Maggie burst out laughing while Alex rolled her eyes. Kara, meanwhile, looked more than a little embarrassed.

"Kara!" Eliza heaved another sigh. At least it wasn't one of the expensive plates…

"It was Alex!" Kara replied helplessly, pointing at her sister.

"Oh yeah, because I can shatter my plate just by hitting it too hard with a fork!" Alex scoffed.

"No!" Kara pleaded, looking back and forth between Eliza and Alex. "She asked me if I ever started floating while having sex with Lena and I-"

"Ok, we don't need to finish that question!" Eliza cut Kara off and Kara, seeming to have finally realized what she had just said, suddenly turned very, very red. This earned another round of laughter from Lena and Maggie and even further eyerolling from Alex. J'onn, however, wasn't fazed at all. This would not have been the first time he heard one or both of the Danvers trying to make embarrassing jokes at each other's expense.

And although J'onn had, mercifully, never accidentally walked in on anything before, there had been at least several incidences where he would briefly skim Alex's mind only to see Maggie. Only one of those times had been rated R, but that didn't mean J'onn didn't feel embarrassed every time he would try to check up on Alex only to realize that she was fine, just daydreaming about her girlfriend.

"Trust me, Eliza," the Martian whispered as the quartet began to bicker again. "This is all too normal."

"Well listen!" Kara defended herself.

"Oh yeah? We're listening, Little Danvers. We're listening _hard_!" Maggie teased, batting her eyes at Kara. For once, Alex looked equally amused.

"Come on, sis, why don't you tell Lena about your teenage years? After all, what better way to bond and practice honesty?" she stuck her tongue out at Kara. Kara gave her a look halfway between anger and desperation.

"I hate you!" she whispered. Alex only winked right back at her. For a second, Lena looked torn between wanting to defend her girlfriend's honor and wanting to egg her on. At last, she chose the latter option and sided with Alex and Maggie.

"C'mon, Kara, I'm sure none of your teenage stories could be that bad or embarrassing, right?" she crooned. Now Kara looked uncomfortable not just because they were trying to get her to spill some very embarrassing secrets, but because Lena had turned on her seductive voice again and Kara was always weak to that. It was something Lena, Alex and Maggie all loved to exploit whenever they could.

"Eliza? J'onn? Little help?" the Kryptonian whimpered, looking helplessly up at her "parents".

"No. You're a big girl. I think you can handle this one on your own," Eliza teased. Alex flashed her a big smile while Kara looked deeply betrayed.

"J'onn? You're on my side, right?" she asked.

"We're waiting to hear the stories, Kara!" Lena singsonged, using her seductive voice again. She slowly began to lean across the table and towards Kara, her eyes lowering into a very seductive expression. Kara swallowed audibly before she gave J'onn another pleading look.

"I think I'm going to stay right here," he replied. "I don't wanna die tonight. I'm staying on _this_ side!" he patted his portion of the table.

"Oh come on! That's not even a side!" Kara cried.

"It is now. The neutral side!" he teased and Kara pouted at him while Lena, Alex and Maggie continued to demand embarrassing stories. It was just another normal night in the life of Earth Mom and Space Dad (and their four queer daughters).

**AN: To Snorlax891, here's Space Dad and Earth Mom putting up with their queer daughters' lesbian shenanigans, only I decided to make them a bit more playful. Sometimes they like to fan the flames just to get a rise out of the "kiddos". This is set during S2 btw.**


End file.
